Maybe I should see a psychiatrist..Is there some kind miracle drug that can make me think normal? To make me less selfish? To make me become a cell in a larger oganism? To make me conform? To see things at face value? To not care? To keep quiet? To not question EVERYTHING?
sigh..I also get told that what I say is wrong or I have alterior motives..I don't usually, but I've gotten to the point where I've even conviced myself that something AND its opposite are both true..even if it's contridictory..that's why my thinking over the years have become more abstract I guess..
I just hate feeling bad or stressed because I think different..
Logo
Woot! I got Logo on my computer! I know, wooptidoo, right? It's just that I haven't used it in 7 years, and yet I'm making better shapes than I did back then..and that's WITHOUT relearning the programing language! It helps to know Java Script I guess..ironically, it's Logo that made learning HTML easier and HTML made Java Script easy to learn..
Oh, and it was funny, cuz I was looking through teacher's bulletin board posts about their classes and it dawned on me how I think way different than I did back in VIKES..(this "Thinking different" is NOT the "abstract" thinking I was talking about above)..like the brainstorming..They brainstormed about what can be found in a pocket..back in 3-6th, heck, from 1st to 9th or something..I would have said, "Money" or "Wallet" or "Keys"..but now, it's hard to even come up with THOSE answers..I had to ask my dad for the "keys" one..NOW the only answers I can think of is "a hole", "a hand", "Nothing", "Air", etc...gawd, they sound negative, but what I mean is that I now think more in concepts rather than objects..
My memory's weird..I asked my mom her earliest memory and her's where somewhat negative..mine are when the way I saw things changed and can remember how it felt to think the other way..one of my earliest memories from school was learning the letter "P"..it was weird! My parents taught me to sound out and read words when I was 4 or someting and we learned it also in Kindergarten (5 years old)..but for some reason the letter "P" wouldn't click in my head..I could read it, but not write it..the problem with that is that the letter "P" is in my name..you'd think "Hope" would be an easy name for a 4 year old..BUT NO!! I was a garden tool until I was 5..but I still remember was it felt like to get excited to know that that day we were learning the letter "P"..I was determined to learn it! lol..go figure..
Working
I set up a forum for WC and I'm moving things over to hopemoore.com as we speak..so hopefully I can be totally moved by next quarter..
Posted by Hope at September 8, 2004 10:16 PM