Out of Space
Do y'all wonder why you get an error in your FTP clients? or even in mail? it's because WC is out of space again..I'm up to almost May 2004 on backing up the blog archives..once I add the MT archives later today, I'll put my personal sites on the new server and take down TCA and CBOP..I've been slow on getting it done and I'm wasn't gonna get rid of my stuff, especially when it's on my domain..not that it helps much that everyone seems to have files they need and can't get rid of them..I'm still running out of space even after Kitty moved her stuff out..I might switch to a server with 1GB (right now it's 450-500MB) if WC runs out of room again..
:(
My friend Josh from HS Drama died a few days ago in a car crash..I guess he was speeding to school without a license just to get there on time, or he would've not graduated or something..I knew something was up when this fly kept bothering me..I have weird beliefs like when someone I know dies, I don't know if it's their spirit or what, but it shows up as a sign to me as flying insects..such as butterflies, moths, and flies..I saw a butterfly and knew my great uncle had died..there was a couple of other incidents like that, too..this time, I was bothered by a fly, which later I decided to make friends with it and tried to name it..but during that time, I'm like thinkin' "ok, so who died and is now trying to communicate with me?"..mostly as a joke..once I heard about Josh, I never saw that fly again..
Another weird thing is that it seems like every year for the last 2 years, a guy friend of mine has died suddenly..David's spleen ruptured and Josh's car reck..I'm gonna be REALLY freaked if this happens next year..I'm gonna tell all my guy friends to be careful..
Another problem is that I know I should attend his funeral..but um.....I don't do funerals..I know people think I'm mean and evil..I just think I'd like my last memory of a person is when they're living, rather than their funeral or being dead in a casket..I'm a sensitve..if I go to a funeral where people are crying, it feels suffocating to me and I get depressed around depressed people and I would try to fight it and it'll come out as anger..and then if I go to meet and talk to friends, I'd probably be in good spirits and people again would think I'm evil..why do we make such a bigger deal about death than we do life? Why is it ok to miss a birthday party or wedding, but people get mad and think you are evil when you miss a funeral?
I jinxed it, tho..I think the second to the last time I talked to him, I told him, "This will pretty much be the last time I'll talk to you or get to see you.." because I was graduating..the last time I DID see him, he was holding Elizabeth in his arms and was happy..so I'd rather remember that moment as least..
School Starts on Wednesday
Yay! Choir! (Maybe with the GGWG, "Doug", "Charlie", or "Luke") *wishfull thinking*
Fun Day with Kitty
I'll do a snap shot thing like I did with the Labor Day pics soon..
Posted by Hope at September 19, 2004 02:01 AM
hopee, don't you ever feel pressured to go to a funeral. there are plenty of other ways to show your respect to the family. you could send a card with your sympathies. no one will think you are evil if you don't go... it's all about comfort levels really. i'm not going because it was hard enough going to the veiwing today... i almost burst into tears after i hugged leah (the sister). i didn't look at the body though. the whole thing like you said of not wanting that to be the way you see him last... but yeah. the funeral would be way too hard a thing to see... so i'm with you there hopee.
Posted by kitty at September 20, 2004 07:12 PM
oh, and i can't wait until you get those pics up! that will be great! :)
we really have to do that again sometime.. it was fun getting lost with you, lol.
Posted by kitty at September 21, 2004 10:46 PM
I definitely understand the feeling of other people's emotions. That's why I avoid those things, too. It's been hard trying to live in a dorm, being around so many people all the time. and trying to filter out their energies. But this time I have to go. This time it's the funeral of a friend of MINE, I'm not just going to support someone else.
Posted by Bunny at September 20, 2004 02:19 PM