Bad thing is, it's happening more often..
So about the "Pictures"..My biggest apology to all of you that it affected..they are now gone..have been gone since about 1:40 p.m. today..
The original plan was to take them down 2-3 days after posting so it doesn't show up in searches..and I only sent the link (only linked from the email) to the people involved..
I realized it was very stupid and I'm seriously sorry..
I put them up because about half of those involved wanted them up online (not HM.com, but my backup server)..I'm not saying who because if anyone should take the blunt of this decision, it should be me..why did I listen to them?
In Other News..
My week of depression continues..and continues..and continues..
Everyone who talked to me today probably didn't notice it..I automatically act happy around people so I don't spread my negativity..but it's been showing up lately as being "tired" or quiet, not being as polite as normal, and I say "sorry" 10 times more than usual even when nothing happened (such as signing my name weird or taking too long to find change)..
To make things worse, even after the "pictures" thing, I fell down next to my van! That sucked..luckily I excersized right before, so it didn't hurt much when I fell..I think my butt and my left elbow (and maybe my back) will have bruises, but otherwise I'm fine..I'm proud that I didn't cry AT ALL!! How cool is that?? I used to cry when I get hurt and then beat myself up (mentally) for it..Tho, I am kinda mad (ok, so I'm tearing myself up) about both the "pictures" and the fact I had to call the CSCC police to help me up..I should have been able to find a way to get up on my own..
SO because I'm a woman and and Cancer, I will add these 2 events (plus the small things I haven't mentioned) to my bundle of "things to worry about and be depressed about/Oh-my-god-you-stupid-fucking-idiot" things to worry and destroy myself over the next week..
Why can't I forget things and move on? My mind is still harping on the crap I did 6 months ago..the people involved probably don't even remember it..but I still feel bad about it..
Also, when I say "excerisizing" above..it's not really excersize..I tried going back to the routines from last year, but I was out of breath (of course) so I did half as much and now I try to "excersize" some way at least 2-3 times a day now if no one is around to watch..I found my weights (light crap, but whatever)..this morning, I actually excersized for more than 45 min. i'm gonna see if I can't do that every morning..I also ate a salad (instead of a piece of pizza) today..but then I had a bowl of spaghetti for dinner :o( My dad's right, I eat WAY too much..
Yay! Another depressing thought to add to the tally..
Oh, well, only one or so years to go..
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Posted by Kierston at September 28, 2005 11:44 PMI do know that things will turn out okay. You have to take it one step at a time.
LISTEN TO MUSIC-- YOU WILL FEEL BETTER!!