This Phone Does Not Exisit and Ultra Vivid Dreams

I really don't know where this came from, but I started making up commercials in my head for phones that don't exist (at least not yet)..of course any of these examples are too long for one commercial..

In the order I made them (not correct formatting because it's hard to have it in a blog):

FADE IN

INT. CHURCH - DAY

We are in a crowded church as there is a wedding going on. The BRIDE and GROOM are at the alter. The groom is holding her hand and finishes saying his marriage vows. The bride smiles and the groom looks nervous.

PREIST: Douglas, do you take Amber to be your lawfully wedded wife?

Douglas looks nervously at his bride. His cell phone RINGS and he answers it.

MAN/V.O.: (through cell phone) Don't do it dude! She'll divorse you and take all your money.

Douglas looks at his bride, smiling beside him, but a little annoyed that he's on his cell phone at a time like this.

MAN/V.O.: (through cell phone) Plus, she's been fooling around with the guy in the second row.

Amber looks over to the second row and smiles. A hansome man in the second row winks at her.

Douglas puts away his phone.

DOUGLAS: Sorry, I can't do this.

Douglas walks out.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL - AFTERNOON

STUDENTS are walking and running through the halls after school has let out for the day. We join a small GROUP of friends talking about a party.

1ST BOY: So you're going to the party, tonight, right?

2ND BOY: I don't know.

1ST BOY: What do you mean? You have to come! We're all gonna get drunk and I heard there will be some pretty hot girls there.

As the first boy talks to the second boy, the second boy seems to become more interested.

2ND BOY: Sounds like a blast, but I have to study for this huge test!

1ST BOY: Whatever! Think about it, you only live once, so are you going to spend your life surrounded by books or friends? (BEAT) I gotta go, I'll catch ya later! Hopefully tonight.

The first boy leaves and the second boy thinks about going to the party. His cell phone RINGS and he answers it.

MAN: (through cell phone) Don't go to the party! If you do, you will fail your test and you won't go to college. Heck, you won't graduate high school. You will also get seriously injured in a car wreck and that preppy girl won't ask you out.

The boy puts away his phone and walks toward the library.

INT. MOTEL ROOM

A MAN is about to commit adultery with a PROSTITUTE. They are kissing heavily on the bed.

MAN: You are a much better kisser than my wife.

As things heat up, the man's cell phone RINGS and he answers it, much to the annoyance of the prostitute.

2ND MAN: (through cell phone) Stop, now! She has HIV. If you end up having sex with her, you will die from the disease and end up spreading it to others.

1ST MAN: (to prostitute) I can't do this.

The first man hangs up and leaves the motel.

EXT. FIELD IN NEVADA - NIGHT

A MAN is in his car parked in a barren field. His cell phone RINGS and he answers it.

2ND MAN: (through cell phone) Put film in your camera!

Confused, the first man hangs up the phone and does what the second man said. The first man walks out of his car looking at the beautiful stars. Out of nowhere, a UFO appears! The man takes photos of the spacecraft just seconds before it goes away.

Words are on the screen and read by a narrator.

NARRATOR/V.O.: This phone does not exist.

The man cheers as he runs back to his car.

NARRATOR/V.O.: But these phones do:

CUT TO:

A selection of phones from a company is shown on the screen. Each one shows a feature they offer (such as a camera phone with flash, video phone, text messaging (with the word's "Don't do it, dude"), and iTunes).

NARRATOR/V.O.: A phone can't call you before you make the worse mistake of your life, but [company name] offers a wide range of services and features to help you on life's journey.

INT. BAR - NIGHT

A MAN is on a cell phone.

2ND MAN: (through cell phone) Tell her she's hot and ask her to go home with you. If you don't, you will be alone for the rest of your life.

The man goes up to a WOMAN at a bar and we see him from a distance as the woman throws her beer on him and storms out the door.

We see a group of MALE FRIENDS in a nearby booth laughing at the first man. One of the men, the second man, is holding a cell phone.

2ND MAN: I just love doing that.

The second man hangs up.

FADE TO BLACK.

2nd commerical:

FADE IN

INT. CHURCH - DAY

We are in a crowded church as there is a wedding going on. The BRIDE and GROOM are at the alter. The groom is holding her hand and finishes saying his marriage vows. The groom smiles and the bride looks nervous.

PREIST: Amber, do you take Douglas to be your lawfully wedded husband?

Amber looks nervously at her groom. She gets her cell phone out and PRESSES buttons until a "Magic 8-Ball" mode appears.

She presses more buttons. A reply appears, "Reply hazy, try again".

INT. FEDERAL BUILDING

A woman is disarming a bomb and is about to cut the blue wire. As the bomb's timer counts down the last few seconds, she takes out her cell phone and presses some buttons.

WOMAN: Do I cut the blue wire?

We see her cell phone in Magic 8-Ball mode as it replies, "Better not tell you now".

She tries again and the cell phone replies, "Outlook not so good."

As the timer gets down to one second, the frame freezes.

Words are on the screen and read by a narrator.

NARRATOR/V.O.: This phone does not exist.

The frame unfreezes and the woman cuts the red wire and the bomb is disabled.

NARRATOR/V.O.: But these phones do:

CUT TO:

A selection of phones from a company is shown on the screen. Each one shows a feature they offer (such as a camera phone with flash, video phone, text messaging (with the word's "Yes"), and iTunes).

NARRATOR/V.O.: A phone can't give you magical advice, but [company name] offers a wide range of services and features to help you give it to others.

FADE TO BLACK.

3rd Commercial:

FADE IN

INT. HOUSE

A WOMAN is sitting on a chair. She picks up her cell phone, presses some buttons, and it begins to vibrate. The woman puts it on her neck to message it.

INT. SHOWER

A WOMAN messages her neck in the shower.

INT. MASSAGE THERAPY CLASSROOM

A teacher instructs the students to use a vibrating cell phone to massage clients' backs.

Words are on the screen and read by a narrator.

NARRATOR/V.O.: This phone does not exist.

One of the students use the cell phone on their neck and gets so relaxed, they pass out.

NARRATOR/V.O.: But these phones do:

CUT TO:

A selection of phones from a company is shown on the screen. Each one shows a feature they offer (such as a camera phone with flash, video phone, text messaging, modes (showing vibrate mode) and iTunes).

NARRATOR/V.O.: A phone can't ease the tension in your muscles, but [company name] offers a wide range of services and features that can ease the tensions in your life.

INT. HOUSE

A big fat MAN in a bath towel sits in a chair. He switches off the battery cover with a battery cover with bumps on it and starts massaging his neck.

FADE TO BLACK

So yeah...I think a magic 8-ball and a massage mode would rock on a cell phone!

Ultra Vivid Dreams

My ultra vivid dreams came back (I haven't had one in days...I think I found a way to trigger them!)..

These were violent and creepy tho..

basically it had this thing that "landed" on the floor and couch that made a deep deep never-ending hole that grew larger if you didn't "feed" it..then, a flower like thing grew around it and the middle had a long human-like tongue..

Whenever a cat or human or anything moved over the hole, the tongue came out and grabbed the person or cat or whatever and brought it into the hole.

Later, the "hole" ended up being more like a growing "crater" in the floor and couch because of some bacteria..

My mom ended up putting a motorized cleaning tool in the floor crater in hopes to stop it from getting bigger..

I also was at a library..it was very big with golden and wood trimmings to doors and golden elevators..I had to give back some kiddie book..

Posted by Hope at November 28, 2005 08:07 AM

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