repitition and a group consensus..

Lately..

I was SORE on Wednesday...oh my gawd, it sucked..I didn't excersize that day, but added more weight training the next day..

According to Liz (who was told this by a trainer), you should do cardio for 30 min. before the weight training and the weight training every other day (3 times a week) with cardio on the in between days..

So for once, I'm doing something kinda right..

The weight training is helping more than just my arms, it's helping my fingers..I can actually open soda cans, now!!

To open up events for other ambassadors, I decided to work all weekend at Oktoberfest..originally from 5pm-1am..but I noticed the last two shifts would be without anyone else..and I didn't want to drive home at 1-2am..

So I changed it to 2pm-11pm which is SO much better..and then I'm still working 5pm-11pm on Sunday..

Welcome back was fun Matt took on Tim, Edward, and Dave in the joust..I think he lost them all, but he did better than last time with 5 ties and 2 out of 5 wins against Tim (6'7" tall compared to Matt who's 5'8" tall)..so that's cool..Jessie took on Jennifer lol They had fun!

Yesterday was cold..and on the coldest day of the month they HAVE to give away free ice cream..yesterday was the first day I had have eaten Moose Tracks! YUMMY!!!!

One of the people at the Welcome Team "Debrief"/"Party"/whatever said there was a girl who couldn't understand that the popcorn was FREE..after finally convincing her that it was actually and truly free, she walked away and yelled back, "NOTHING AT OSU IS FREE!!!"

So in spirit of trying to be better than OSU when students get our of high school, I will brag to the OSU-ans (the faculty member tour is today) that we give away free popcorn, snocones, icecream, bubbles, fans, soda, Red Bull, advice, tutoring, photo buttons, sand art, spin art, etc. etc. etc.

........and it's easier and cheaper at CSCC..

Man, the more I work at CS, the more I want to continue working there!

I liked how at the Welcome Team, we students got to work with teachers, staff, and faculty! The same with Welcome Back! Even the President of the college (nice lady) came out and stuffed hotdog buns! How cool is that???

It's just neat how it really is like a democratic "community" rather than a caste system..

The only real downside in the last two days was my class..class is worse than being at home! At least my opinion is heard (and sometimes argued with) at home..

I don't know how many times I at least tried to suggest things or find other verbal (rather than butting in) ways of participating..

I got spoiled by the Student Ambassadors..they are the nicest people! The worse thing I have ever heard from them when I make a suggestion is, "Hope, you are thinking too much" or "Are you sure?" which is not that bad..it means they actually HEARD and ACKNOWLEDGED my thoughts..

Last night it was more of, "No, lets do it my way" or "No, let's just do it here" or "whatever, Hope"..I doubt they heard my suggestion..even though a few of them I said around FIVE times..

Next Tuesday, Jim (the teacher) will be like why did you choose such crappy angles of the building that has water damage and a Bookstore sign? Why did you shoot a lawn full of trash? Why did you shoot a puny garden with bad lighting?

I kept saying that there is a nice garden in the East Courtyard just outside Rhodes Hall..and that the best angle of Davidson Hall I've seen so far is from the 10-H lot (we were only about 50 or so yards away)..and the best lawn is at Mt. Vernon and Cleveland Ave. in front of the TL Building..

How much do you wanna bet they'll say I didn't do anything? I mean, even after I framed up the "lawn" shot (apparently we have to be extra picky with me because I can't recognize a straight line from an angled line..all the others didn't have to be "perfect", but they had to readjust my work since it was off by about 1 degree)..after telling me to focus on the wrong thing, I focused in the middle instead of the forground..they said to keep the brick out of it, so I put the brick just out of frame and the hill of the lawn was about center..After that, they changed it to "not have so much sky" and I think added the brick at the bottom..

I took a couple of photos of Jim eating Nachos as Randy and Chris set up the camera under the statue (where I couldn't get to, but thought was a great idea for the shot)..and I took photos on the way to the parking garage for the "city skyline" shot..

I know because I took those small amount of photos, it will be turned into "She did nothing but take photos all the time" or something..

I do have to admit tho, Chris DID a few times ask, "What do you think?" Which I thought was nice..

Another thing: I have to ask my teacher what we should wear on Tuesday because we have to look so "professional" for Jeff..I think Jeff is a cool guy..I was one of the first (maybe really the first) collab student to meet him at the course, ready to work, and his personality reminded me of John..

Later, he gave my friend/co-collab student and I a nifty tour..really, Jeff, like almost any other staff and faculty at CSCC, is laidback and nice and not ultra-professional..

He also talked (and joked) with each group one and one..

So do I have to dress up on Tuesday, just to talk to someone laidback?

I actually have to go out an buy a polo shirt *rolls eyes*

Other stuff..

I had a deja vu moment at Welcome Back! It was when Matt tried to make me feel better by telling me what he does when he's depressed and I remember him and John working at the center food thing..

I think it was from a dream..

If so, I hope in a few weeks/months I'll be writing about the deja vu moment that I remember from my dream last night.. ;o) It was SO SWEET!!!!! But yeah, I'm not going into details..

It had a november sky in it, so maybe it will happen in November?

There's something to look forward to!!!

Bad thing is, it's happening more often..

So about the "Pictures"..My biggest apology to all of you that it affected..they are now gone..have been gone since about 1:40 p.m. today..

The original plan was to take them down 2-3 days after posting so it doesn't show up in searches..and I only sent the link (only linked from the email) to the people involved..

I realized it was very stupid and I'm seriously sorry..

I put them up because about half of those involved wanted them up online (not HM.com, but my backup server)..I'm not saying who because if anyone should take the blunt of this decision, it should be me..why did I listen to them?

In Other News..

My week of depression continues..and continues..and continues..

Everyone who talked to me today probably didn't notice it..I automatically act happy around people so I don't spread my negativity..but it's been showing up lately as being "tired" or quiet, not being as polite as normal, and I say "sorry" 10 times more than usual even when nothing happened (such as signing my name weird or taking too long to find change)..

To make things worse, even after the "pictures" thing, I fell down next to my van! That sucked..luckily I excersized right before, so it didn't hurt much when I fell..I think my butt and my left elbow (and maybe my back) will have bruises, but otherwise I'm fine..I'm proud that I didn't cry AT ALL!! How cool is that?? I used to cry when I get hurt and then beat myself up (mentally) for it..Tho, I am kinda mad (ok, so I'm tearing myself up) about both the "pictures" and the fact I had to call the CSCC police to help me up..I should have been able to find a way to get up on my own..

SO because I'm a woman and and Cancer, I will add these 2 events (plus the small things I haven't mentioned) to my bundle of "things to worry about and be depressed about/Oh-my-god-you-stupid-fucking-idiot" things to worry and destroy myself over the next week..

Why can't I forget things and move on? My mind is still harping on the crap I did 6 months ago..the people involved probably don't even remember it..but I still feel bad about it..

Also, when I say "excerisizing" above..it's not really excersize..I tried going back to the routines from last year, but I was out of breath (of course) so I did half as much and now I try to "excersize" some way at least 2-3 times a day now if no one is around to watch..I found my weights (light crap, but whatever)..this morning, I actually excersized for more than 45 min. i'm gonna see if I can't do that every morning..I also ate a salad (instead of a piece of pizza) today..but then I had a bowl of spaghetti for dinner :o( My dad's right, I eat WAY too much..

Yay! Another depressing thought to add to the tally..

Oh, well, only one or so years to go..

I ended up not going to school..I don't like driving when I'm in a bad mood..it's too dangerous..

So yeah, my depression has set in..

I seriously need to find a way to get rid of it..I can't cry in front of people so it just eats away at my soul..

I'm gonna try to exercize it away or something..but I hate excersizing in front of people..

Just like I hate talking on the phone in front of people..mostly because people judge me and tell me what I did wrong..

I think I will go watch them design the paper tonight..mostly just to get out of the house and into some fresh air..and to be around people in better moods so I'll forget about mine..

I hate depression..

I should have seen it coming since I've been in a GREAT mood for days/week..

Now I have to have this crap wear off hopefully by Thursday so I can enjoy the concert..

:o( :o( :o( :o(

from TV commercials:

http://www.consumerfreedom.com/
Very interesting..

http://www.fightmannequinism.org/
I'm so not a mannequin!

She suggested it to me today to start a filmmaking club..

The reasons why I won't is because I'm not sure how much time A/V students and other interested students would have to go to meetings..what would come out of the club? would 300-600 dollars be enough for the club? Who would take over when I'm done?

So at home I was like, "If I made any club, it would be like the bookstore idea I had.." it's also an idea for a high school or college class I wish they had..

So this "nagging" desire grew and now is attacking me..

The idea is "Based on a Novel" (working title)..

Either we'd pick a book, have 2-3 weeks to read (if we want) and then on the 2nd or 3rd week watch a movie or two based on the book/story we read and have a critical discussion about it..

OR..

We watch movies (all based on literature) every week and discuss the differences between the book and movie..

If possible, it would be fun to have "workshops" like S.O.A.R. has and get (if he's available) Jim (my teacher) to speak about screenwriting or something and also get a short story or play writing teacher to speak as well..

My hope is that it would promote literacy and get people to watch movies more critically..and maybe even inspire people to write their own stories/plays/scripts..

the money would go to DVDs and maybe a portable DVD player (so if we went to someone's house who didn't have one)? and of course movie "outings"..And after I'm gone, it would easily be taken over..

Of course in my middle school and high school, the teachers would show movies that were based on some of the stuff we read..the difference here is that there would be more critical thought when it comes to the filmmaking process and the fundamentals of storywriting which I'd love to learn more of..

This idea for a class would include projects (each person choses a different story) that they would watch one or more versions of the stories and then present what they read, what they think, ask others, and have an "essay" (which could be written badly or even be drawn as a comic)..

The idea for a bookstore is that that movie and book (and even script) bought together would offer a huge discount..there would be an area to watch a weekly movie (with wifi) and a place to read..

Just an idea I've had since middle school..

Funny

Pictures coming soon to go with this, but I just had to repost it because it's hillarius!

Remember how I said Bill jumped 6-7 times at this last party? Here's Jason's comment on Bill's Facebook page:

"Congratulation! Mr. Seven Time Porch Diving Champion... When inhibitions hold other porch minglers to stay put... you put sanity to the wind and willingly sacrifice: your body, clean clothes, and the urge to conform to the worn path of other mundane party-goers. So I thank-you Mr. Seven Time Porch Diving Champion, you make it cool to be a lifeless lump of a lawn ornament."

That's GREAT!

Interesting..

Another deja vu moment happened today!! It was when Tall came over and Huong and I blew bubbles at him and he blew them back and I took some photos and he said something that reminded me that I might have DREAMT this..

but I don't know, but I remember having deja vu during my deja vu moment..

If Kitty's mom was right about a year ago, I was supposedly meant to be a Student Ambassador..I was meant to be at Welcome Team..I was meant to be sitting in that seat..I was meant to have bought that camera..I was meant to be there at that time and past actions have brought those around me to be there at that exact time..

hmm..

and one more thing..

I recently came up with a new weird theory!!! Woot! First time in a while :o)

Too bad it's really just a cynical way of looking at love and marriage..

But more on that at a later time to be diconnected from the source (which I'll describe at another time as well)..

But let's just say it's interesting and I'm using it to my advantage..

Grr...I wish I could say what I'm talking about!! I need a Xanga under another name or something so I can type this out..

Maybe I can use it on "Justin" (fake name) when I see him the next time *wink* I have a feeling I'll only have a short time..

Why have I had such violent dreams lately? this morning, I woke up sweating, heart racing, and my arms and legs were sore as if I had lived out my dream..

Mostly what I remember is:

-) Being in a realistic virtual reality game
-) Stuck inside a stone tower
-) A male character kept growing taller because he wasn't using his "powers"
-) There was a fan above him, so he needed to shrink
-) He used some powers to get shorter, but as he did, this green fire-breathing dragon with a LOOOONG neck and a mouth with three lips (think Langoliers) comes out of one of the windows near the top of the tower
-) It flew down in front of us, trying to burn us and bite off our limbs
-) I had books and McDonalds food laying around, so every time it would strike at me, I put something in the way of it's mouth
-) It worked until I was out of crap
-) It tried to bite off my left arm, but another Yoshi-looking character tackled the dragon from my right
-) The Yoshi-looking character broke the dragon's neck
-) The dragon and the character started to glow a weird orange/yellow
-) The Yoshi-looking character got mean looking, its head turned squarish and it grew horns
-) Its eyes went from yellow to glowing red
-) It looked SO EVIL!! (very devil like)
-) I expected it to explode, but it stopped abruptly to advertize this game system that looked like the Devil character
-) I somehow knew that it made whoever use it into an evil person that would go out and hurt people
-) I ran out of the tower (straight up, somehow) and it turned into a store (like Walmart)
-) The Devil systems were everywhere! They look a little like the Disinformation Inc. logo, but more meaner and scary
-) A mom and kid tried one out and the mom was like, "Are you a nice toy?" and the game system replied something like, "I am.........even when I eat your child's soul" or something weird like that
-) There were other electronic toys..but the influence of the Devil one made them mean as well

-) At one time in my dream, I remember playing the game in person as well as with wooden minitures
-) I put a car on the roof of a house to keep it safe from the "explosions" heard in town and someone asked me if the explosion was the car falling fro the roof..
-) I got out of the "town" and walked somewhere along the street at night..
-) The street I walked along was a neighborhood in a small town with 50s style homes
-) I had a label stuck to my finger and I was walking toward whatever I was supposed to label
-) Doug (from class) came out of one of the houses and said hi and wondered what I was doing

-) later, in the same neighborhood, I drove onto the same street
-) I went to a friend's house and for some reason, he didn't want his sister to see me (I think in the game, she was going to kill me)
-) So I hid pretty well
-) I had to do this twice for some reason and the second time, his sister did see me
-) She and her killer family (all but my friend) sent me out to some picnic table at night near a festival
-) I had to mix fruits and veggies and trash in a bowl with a power tool
-) I guess they were watching me the whole time
-) When mixed, it looked like blood somehow (you think it would look brown) and I think they wanted me to mix it so they could kill me and could hide it from the cops
-) They stationed a security guard/real cop (not a rent-a-cop) to watch me
-) A Japanese couple sat to my left and had stuff for me to mix
-) I had already told the family I was finished
-) The cop heard my story about how they asked me to do this mixing and saw how I did it
-) He called for backup and arrested the family

-) Some time in that dream, at night was an interactive neighborhood thing to fly through homes and rooms
-) One of the rooms was "Tim's" room (name changed, of course)
-) It's caption was "The one you really wanna see"
-) But I didn't go for some reason

That's about all I can remember..

But that first dream FREAKED ME OUT!! I was running hard and fast in my dream afraid for my life..

Luckily, my dad woke me up..

But I feel sore now..like if I had actually ran like that..

do I ever finish a thought?

much less a post..

Matt's party was fun!

Bill did his "signature move" (jumping from about 6-7 feet) from the porch railing 6 times!

He jumped and Jason came and got me to take a picture and then he was like, you should get it on video..so I got Bill jumping the second time on video..later, I got him jumping two-three more times (just photos)..without his shirt..then he did pull ups on the gutter..then he was like, "This one will be from the ROOF!!" but he quit before he got up there because he said he was too smart to even try it..

I feel bad tho, because I encouraged it lol..I even said (later when I was almost drunk) that I wanted Matt to take off his shirt and they both jump off at the same time..even tho Matt was really drunk by then, he was way too self conscious..

Right before Bill and Jason left, I was like, "You HAVE to jump one more time!!" and Jason started saying it, too..so we went outside and I told Matt that he was jumping again and he went outside, too..

Jason was like, "Do this jump without pants!" and Bill almost looked like he was going to and said something like, "No..there's too many guys here.." or something funny like that..I was cracking up..

He got up to jump and posed for the camera..he turned around and just as he leaped from the railing, it BROKE!!

You have to remember that Matt's place is a Victorian era (or looking) house..

So yeah, I feel bad about encouraging it lol..

I didn't realize how much food absorbs alcohol..so I ate two bowls of Hamberger Helper and when I got to the party, a large chicken breast..BAD IDEA..

I can only really get drunk safely at Matt's parties (because I don't have to drive an hour home if I get too drunk) so when I go, I would like it if I could get at least DIZZY or SOMETHING..

But I ended up drinking a lot more than a few of my friends and they were really drunk within a short time..I got to the party at 10:30 p.m. it wasn't until 2:00 a.m. that I felt even a little drunk..I was so mad!

I mean, I even had one of Nancy's mixed drinks (SO GOOOOOD! and strong) and I still was way sober..Nancy had this look on her face like, "You're kidding me, right?"..she was like, "Did you finish your red drink?" and I'm like yeah..

So she got me another one..it wasn't until halfway through that I got drunk and guess what..

It lasted only 30 minutes! GRR..

I was actually able to drive home in the WORST FOG EVER..I didn't even know I drove into South Bloomfield because I couldn't see the gas stations!

Other than that, I liked the music this time..Kyle brought it I think and he makes a GREAT DJ! He was lip syncing and singing and danced, too..the music was mostly hip hop and rap, but Matt's roommate's friends felt "unconfortable" around rap so they up and left..no fense, but how mean is that? Even if I felt "unconfortable" around a type of music, I wouldn't let that stop me from enjoying hanging out with friends..

As for drinks, Jessie made some awesome rasberry drinks and Brittany brought lots of 80 and 110 proof Jello shots..those were good..I just wish my tongue was longer lol..

at one point in the party, I asked Jason to get me a fruity drink..he's your average nice guy, so he brought back this orange drink (he gave me an orange drink last time) and I was like, "It's good, what's in it?" and he was like, "Orange juice" and I'm like, "and..." and he said, "orange juice" and I was like, "and..." and he was like "orange juice"..

I had Sam try it and she said it was just orange juice..

So now I'm wondering what was really in that orange drink at the Pirate Party..

but all night he was like, "You didn't like my orange concoction?" and then he'd wink..

So yeah, for the next party, I won't eat so much..the earlier I get drunk, the earlier I can go home (so I'd go home at 3 or 4 rather than 7)..

For Halloween, I will be a cell phone..just because it's different and funny and clashes with what most people think of my personality..

Things that happened today (not all weird, just weird they all happened the same day):

-) I have some sort of weird skin irritation that's not going away and is driving me nuts..

-) David found out that his parents put his name on their house so he lost his grants making him have to do extra work to pay for fees and keep his classes to keep his job and positions..which is why I think the government should change the financial aid laws to take in account that David will not be selling his parents' house..and I can't pay over $23,000 a year for school..

-) Jacque brought a scrabble board and she, Tall and I played for about 1-2 hours..apparently my parents and I never played it right..we always counted the premium squares each time the word was played off of and we counted the blanks as whatever value the letter is usually..I guess that was all wrong..Tall got a "bonus" or what he calls a "Scrabble" (worth 50 extra points) at the very last turn he made and if we had ended then, we would have had to deduct our game pieces (I had a Q and an X) and give him our points..this was his first time playing English Scrabble..he kept trying to do French words..

-) I am now (or soon to be) the secretary for the Columbus State Scrabble Club! I guess I'll have to learn to take minutes..

For your viewing pleasure, here is a nifty little Flash movie for Scrabble lovers:

-) Well, after almost forgetting to buy my books, I went to buy them..um..duh..well, anyway..our school is hinting toward a color change, I think..even the Columbus State Bookstore employees are wearing RED..so now we have a red "Passage", a red "Vault", the D.O.P.S. (Department of Public Safety) a.k.a. the Cops are wearing red, the Bookstore changed most of it's signs to red, and so on..I could have SWORN our colors were royal blue and white..

-) Of course Jim (my teacher) didn't require any books for my class and I looked at the HTML books..OMG!!!! This class will be SOOOOO easy! More than halfway through the 15-20 dollar book, it had a quiz question like "What does the tr in <tr> stand for?" so easy!! I have been able to code whole sites (maybe not the best designed sites, but whatever) in HTML since 1997!! So I didn't buy the book..

-) Weirdest thing that happened to today (real quick before I head up to the Halfway to St. Patrick's Day Party): I figured out how much Jim's classes HAVE corrupted me!! Some dude threw himself into traffic in front of me!!! I had put my camera away right beforehand because I've taken WAY too many photos of Academic Center D..but this guy runs out in front of a car and falls and the car (going 30-40 mph) stops just in time not to run over him..the guy gets up and waves at the driver and the driver drives off!

The first thing I think is "Is he an AVP student filming a movie for an assignment?" Then I thought, "Is this an abnormal psych. experiment?" and "Am I on video?"..So I laugh and look around for a van and cameras..but there is nothing..I stay around just to see if the other members of his AVP crew would come meet up with him saying "that was a great shot!" or "We got her good!" or something, but no one did..

So I told the D.O.P.S. and they were a little worried..I went around telling all the people I bumped into about the dude..

Well, I better get going..I'll finish this post maybe around midight or whenever I get home..

First, the dream from this morning..

I can't remember it in order, but..

I was in Hilliard (a place I've only been a total of 3 times)..at some strip mall looking for Kitty, Bunny, and Austin..I can't remember if they ran away or I thought they were kidnapped, but I was out there to find them..

This must be later since I told a stranger that Kitty was 19 and the others were 20..

I went to check out the Walmart (where they said they'd be at), but they weren't there and I went driving around this huge strip mall and didn't see them..all the stores were closing up..

At one time, some one was helping me look into restaurant windows..but I didn't see them..

I was supposedly somewhat psychic in my dream and knew they were kidnapped by then and being held hostage or at gun point..

I "knew"/"saw" that Kitty was wearing a red long sleeve shirt..I thought that should be easy to spot among the other people..

I somehow "knew" that Nate (some big guy, not the Nate that's Randy's friend) and some other guy (Mike or Matt was the dude's name) was with them and they had left this one restaurant (the room was brownish with close tables, but it was fancy enough to have waiters) because too many people were taking pictures with flashes..

So they went to some kind of "National Restaurant" (that was the name! lol)

At the time I found out about this, I was outside a fitness store (Access or Acute or Acurate Something) and they were closing up for the night..I was by my van leaning in the passenger side and looking at my cell phone (which was a newer and different model) and I called "National Rstaurant"..

I can't remember what they said, but my phone was about to get a lot of information from callers such as address, owner, etc.

Well, some FBI dude or government official confiscated my phone! Saying I knew too much or something..

I drove around the mall again and it had hug hills and mountains behind the stores..In waking life, I don't remember any hills in that town lol..maybe it came from the name: Hill - iard .. but whatever..

I somehow got into this government type building that was built into the mountain..

I asked one of the suits, "Where is National Restaurant?" and he was like, "Way on the other side of the building.." I didn't think it would be that far, but then he showed me a painting of the facility I was in on the wall..he pointed to were the "reastaurant" was (on the far right) and where we were was already marked with a yellow dot on the far left)..

I guess it would have been better to drive that mile or so, but I decided to go through the building..

Bad idea since it turned into a video game..I had to rush past opperatives and residents of connected apartments and even one of the large stairwells had a gravity shift halfway through and I (now my character for the game) had to fall up the stairs and hang upside down from some banisters some 20-50 feet up..

I jumped down, just to be confronted by this German official dude and I was like, "I'm with.......Dan!" The German dude got a little comfused and yelled at others to get me (I guess there was no one named "Dan" there)..I rushed up some stairs and there was a small ledge close to a wall and under the ledge was a dead German soldier dressed in WWII clothes..I started to climb the other stairs to my left..

then I paused the game because I had to use the bathroom..

Later, it was more 2 dimensional and there was a time my game character had to fight "ghosts" and then free some lions..I guess other players think the lions eat the character, but they don't..

so that was my weird dream..

Other stuff..

Last few days I've been over busy (even with my lingering flu)..Went to the Hot Times Festival (on Parsons between Bryden and Main) and they were like, "what are you signed up for?" and I was like, "I was just told to show up.." so eventually, they were like go back and forth and make sure no one steals anything..

So I ended up buying a lot of stuff including this "realistic" moving wooden snake..

The food was decently priced..

On Sunday, I went to the Sunny 95 Kids Day..I went to the Easton Mall around 10:15 a.m. or so and no one was really there..Edward had called me earlier to find out where exactly we were supposed to be and he was it was Easton Town Square..I was in the mall, so that was Easton Town Center..I called around and finally Bola told me it was Easton Town Square or maybe Easton Town Center Square..but all my brain heard was Square..so I went over to Walmart across Morse Rd. because that area was Easton Town Square..Matt gave me the contact number and Edward and Bill came over to Walmart..Ed said that Bill saw something outside the mall..

So we went back over to the Easton Town Center and it was outside in the middle of the buildings..we were a hour late..Houng had been there since 11 a.m...other volunteers were late because they went to the Easton Town Square as well..

It was fun tho because we got to make "Tiny Tornadoes" for kids..you know, soap water and glitter and you spin it around real fast to make a tornado? Ed and Bill helped kids figure out how to get out of a house in case of a fire..

kids rock, I swear!

What's funny is that when I'm around kids and watch others take care of them, I think of how I'll take care of my kid/kids when I haven them some day..so many parents were putting 3+ year old kids in strollers and limiting them to 1 piece of candy..

I'm like, when I have kids, they can have as much candy as they want at these events, but they are walking most of the event to wear off the calories..

I saw "Wife Swap" last night and the 3 boys that terrorized the stores were taught manners easily..I was mad because they made it sound like she wasn't that good of a mother..but you can tell the kids (even tho they took advantage of the freedoms they had) had good morals and values..that came from the original mom (and maybe some from school)..I didn't like that the other mom was like, "When I told them I was Miss (so and so) they said, 'Kiss my butt!'"..I was like, it was on video that the oldest offered his hand and shook hers and said, "Hello, my name is (so and so)." very politely..

I know when I have kids some day, I'll probably corrupt them..I'm violent, I believe in scaring kids from bad behavior..(like when the kid last night kept saying "kiss my butt" after the dad said not to, I think he should have grabbed his arm, not too hard, but hard enough to scare him a little and say not to say it and WHY not to..)..I believe in wipping (open fingers and only after being in the corner doesn't work and it has to be done IMMEDIATELY after the bad behavior)..and if they do something violent in class (biting, kicking someone, etc.) the teacher should have the right to smack their hand or wip them after the third offense (first and second offense of course, you take them away and ask them why they did it and tell them WHY not to and make them appologize..but if they do it three times, a smack (not hard enough to buise, mind you) could be used to show them how they are hurting others and needs to be done IMMEDIATELY after the bad behavior)..I've seen it where parents and teachers wait hours before the punishment and I'm sorry, that teaches broad fear which is more damaging..I think doing it immediately teaches them to fear the consequences of that behavior..

When it comes to clothing..if I had a daughter, I would allow them to wear stuff to show some of their stomach, especially if it looked good on them..and I'd let them where stuff like that early because I believe it promotes good health because the people that look good in those clothes are those who work out and eat right..not eating disorders, not a lack of excersize..

The one family last night locked their kid in from going out at night..I'm one of these people that if they have a job, (especially if they have a car), and are at least 16..they can go out and do whatever and come home by midnight..if they stay up later or get drunk, they will learn how hard it is to get up ond go to school or work the next day..if they went out partying for days in a row and missed school for days in a row, I would drag them out (in night clothes) out to the bus stop..I feel if children learn how to balance partying with other parts of their life before they go to college, they are going to be more successful and have a better social life than if they are forced to wait until later..

I would let my kids smoke and drink underage..heck, do drugs if they wanted, but not in my house or car and when they go to jail, I'm only paying PART of the bail..they should realize they shouldn't do illegal activity (at least not in front of cops)..

When it comes to sex, I'd be the mother who would accidently catch them in their room and say sorry and then throw condoms at them..you can't stop people from doing what they want..but you can teach them health..

and if people would just have more and more propaganda on TV about safe sex, what to do after finding out they got pregnant, the dangers of drugs, smoking, and drinking..and getting people to be more involved in their towns..I think this world would be a better place..we would have less STDs, less abortions, more loving homes, less cancer and liver disease, better employees, and fairer laws..

I guess my ideas with raising kids is kinda the way my teacher runs his class..the first class I had with him he said it's like throwing us into the fire and we learn from our own mistakes..he's there to help, but most of the time it's up to us to learn from the struggle to make things work..

I would be there for my kids, but even if I were rich, they would have to learn about the "real world" before they are in it..maybe it comes from my parents making me pay rent once I got income and now I pay for gas and school..they let me come home whenever (and would have when I was younger if I could drive) because they realize I will learn how to balance my social life with school and work..

I'm actually suprized they have let me stay in the house this long..Physically, I'm not totally able to be independent, but I'm getting closer..if I was and when I do get better enough to live on my own, I will move out..even tho unless I find a part time job that pays $15 or so an hour, I'll be living in a bad neighborhood in a one-room apartment..

Can you believe they are going to raise the minimums on credit cards by double??? That's STUPID!!! My friends are gonna have to be living at a homeless shelter! I'm not sure, but we might have to move because I don't think my parents can afford it..why do the laws have to attack the middle class?????? We should tax alcohol, not gas and cigarettes! Alcohol is worse than some other drugs out there and unless someone has a drinking problem, it wouldn't be as bad for people as the cigarette taxes are..why tax cigarettes which are WAY too hard for most people to quit (other than the obvious profit)? People will pay extra for alcohol and more people drink than smoke..

After reading this book I'm reading..I seriously hope they put a cap on gas..I have this strange fear that it will be $8.00 or $10.00 a gallon by this time next year..and I think our water bills will rise..

oh, well, I'll just have to get a $25/hour part time job..

Brittany said there is a 3 credit hour class at CSCC that I could take and be qualified for a job that starts at $17/hour and can go up to $25/hour..I might try it if they start building up north..

Right now, I'm hoping to pull in some hours so every pay period I have 60 hours..that's about 120 per month..times $9/hour = 1,080/month (yay! I'd lose my government money ($500 or so a month and then -$77 for medicare) and my health insurence! but I would still bring in more money in one month (with taxes taken out) than I've been making in 2 months with the government..

I'm currenty $1,100 or so in debt and I'm thinking of adding $2,300 or so more to that..

I seriously need to find another $9/hour or more job to take it's place because even though I'm gonna try out for senior ambassador, it's not certain I will get the position..

Other than all of that, Sunday I went back to the Hot Times Festival and ended up getting a henna tatoo of a butterfly on my arm..the dude is a great artist! I can't believe how he can do so well freehand! I originally was going to have him draw angel wings on my shoulder blades and the way he seemed like he was going to do it was have it go on the back of my arms, too! that would have been cool, but I don't really have shirts to show it off yet..

Well, I should go get my grades fixed..

Which BTW, I got another 4.0 this last quarter!!! Woot!!! I'm at 3.444 cumulative GPA and it might go up when I get my grades fixed (they're calling 2 of my classes repeats..if I get the A back, it might go up to 3.46 or 3.47! but if they also bring back the B, it might be more like 3.45..GRR!! SO CLOSE TO PHI THETA CAPPA!!!! (SP?) I'm gonna try to be a five star member, too..lol..

Am I the only American who forgot it was 9/11?

Geez..

Well, as I've done every year (I think)..Ill link to my 9/11/2002 remembering post:

Also, my heart goes out to all of those who have lost someone on that day or in the war that happened afterwards..

And a big THANK YOU to the troops out there fighting for our safety so something like this doesn't happen again (at least not on our soil)..

Craziness....don't mind me......I meant to write this a while back and I guess it doesn't hold as much as a punch as it did originally....

when I was still on NyQuil and trying to drive to school...

Don't ever do that when you might have ADD..

----

He said here it is

what are you waiting for?

I'm only steps away

You are my cliff

Looking, I see more

more than what he's blind to

It's too high

But he'll catch you

It's still too high and too deep to try

What if I bring him down

Fall from him

Lose his grip

Will it reverse?

Will it return to where I began?

Why risk it when I know safety may be impossible?

Where danger lies, the missing part of me is found

I must lose everything to gain everything

But is it worth it?

Looking over and beyond

I back away

He comes closer instead

It's too high

It's too high

It's too high

It's too high

It's too high

It's too high

It's too high

Yet, I'm nearing the edge

It's too high

It's too high

It's too high

It's too high

It's too high

Peering down

It's too high

It's too high

It's too high

I've got one foot off the ground

It's too high

It's too high

But I'm falling

down

down

down

I finally open my eyes

and see

You were my cliff

-----------

Yeah, whatever..makes no sense..darn NyQuil and ADD and monotonous commute to school...

I can't believe I'm STILL sick! This is what, day 5???? At least my snot is yellow..means it's going away, I guess..

I'm still having trouble breathing..and I'm always sweating..I feel like I'm in a sauna..

And on top of that, I'm getting some bad cabin fever as well..

My dad doesn't want to go to the store, so I'm gonna see how many people I can spread my flu to at Wallmart..my mom can't go cuz she's sick now..

I was like, just wait..it might feel like acid was poured down your throat, now, but it'll soon feel like your throat is swollen and you won't be able to breathe through your nose..then it'll be mostly a stuffed up nose and drainage on your vocal cords so you sound funny and cough a lot..

She's like, "Don't tell me that!"

So I finally got to see "Speak" on Lifetime..Arron from high school was in it..the main actor (the rapist) looked a little like him, but he was the art student/senior boy at the end in the blue shirt..I'm so happy for him that he wasn't just a blur in the background! He was in two shots and probably at least 3-4 seconds on screen! lol how cool is that????

And then he's listed twice in the credits!

We taped it...

Also, my mom now has my flu..it took her 3-4 days to get it..I hope my friends are ok..

I'm still totally sick..I slept from about 1pm-8pm with the help of the NyQuil..and I'm about to take it again..I HATE FLUS!!!!! But I'm going to spread it to more of the college tomorrow..

*sticks finger up stuffed up nose and wipes it all over the elevator buttons*

lol just kidding...but yeah, watch me start an epidemic!!!

Gah! I missed 3 questions and got an 88% on it! I guess that's not bad considering I have a flu and it's a better grade than the last two tests..

I calculated it out and I think I'm a borderline 90% in that class right now..let's hope my research paper isn't too bad..either way, I still think I'm gonna get like a 89.2% (like in Screenwriting lol)..or something like that..

Gene just called me and said he was putting the test up again and will email us when it's up..he saw that 3 other people didn't take it either..

that's cool that he's willing to do that..

Ahhhhhh....NyQuil rocks! One dose and seconds later, I could breathe again! and then I practically passed out on the couch for 8 hours!

I send an email around a quarter 'till midnight to see if anyone else was having trouble taking the test on the last day..apparently at least 3 others had trouble, too..yay, (I know Jim doesn't like the gang-up thing, for a good reason) but lets see if it works with Gene since it's like 15% of our grades!!! Especially when it might just be a computer error..we hope he'll give us an extra day..

That throws me off because I crammed and the information is now not in my head and I have to cram again grr..

half of it is old, out-dated computer information..I can't believe they have to explain what a "notebook" is or the whole "software" and "hardware" and how computer applications are called "programs" lol..they actually mentioned using Zip drives (we haven't used those since my 1 1/2 st year here at CSCC) and how you can connect to "ListServs" via a modem and a phone line..NOTHING about cable or DSL or wireless networking cards or hotspots..then it says to have two computers: one for business and one for graphics because one computer isn't powerful enough to do both and how "notebooks" are way slower than desktops and can't do as much as a desktop..

WHATEVER! I work mainly from my lappy (for those who don't watch Homestar Runner's Strongbad Emails, it means my laptop/"Notebook")..graphics, business, some CD deveopment, 3D work, some video editing, and surfing the net..the only reason it's slower than the desktop in my room is because I have WAY too much crap on my lappy..over 16-20Gs of pure H20 photos!!I have to back some up..I have to use DVDs..which, BTW, is not covered in the chapter because "CD-Roms are gaining popularity"..

*sneezes*

Well, I'll be going back to bed and sleeping off this flu, I guess..

I have a terrible cold/flu..first one in 6 months!

I went out to Olive Garden and Magic Mountain Friday night with some SAers to say goodbye to Percy, who's transfering..we'll miss ya, bud!..in the famous words of Matt: "But Nebraska? That's cold whack foshizzle!"..that was the first time I played Putt-Putt in about 10+ years..

my throat was bad then, but worse the next day (so I didn't work) but Matt was all like inviting everyone to a movie, so I SO went with a bad cold..while watching "Transporter 2", my cold got worse and it's horrible today..

The movie had great fight choreography!

Bad thing is, I held off until today to do my test thinking I'd feel better, but the online test for class isn't working!!! So yeah, good bye freakin' 4.0 GPA this quarter!! I'll get 15% off because I couldn't take the test..

BUT tonight I came up with my halloween costume idea!!!

Picture this:

-) Semi fitted t-shirt (sorta low cut) with a cellphone face (the numbers)..

it would be nice to lose weight by then so it's not so disgusting..

my dad brought home NyQuil and some Sudefed!!! I was like, AWESOME!!! I get to lose weight! and my dad was like, "I thought you'd say that" lol

so who knows, if I can get myself to take a pill/s then I might at least 10 lbs off soon..and no sleep, but at least I'll lose some weight..

my goal is still 25 lbs..since I'm staying the same on my weight..

I hope the Sudefed helps..I know this cold is..I can barely eat, and whenI do, it's like peas or mushy carrots..so I should check my weight lol..

But yeah, that costume would be interesting because it's not something I'd usually do..

And I wanna see if I can show up to work in it ;o)

I was watching some MSNBC news videos online and according to them, the National Guard has appeared to have left them..they aren't getting food, water, or medical help at the Convention Center in Louisiana..

I once saw a show about a train crash and paramedics came in, putting colored wristbands on people to mark who needs the most help..red for immediate care, green for ok, and yellow for in between..

Why can't they try that there and have more colors..like red for the almost dead people who can't walk and doctors can go to them..orange for the dying people who can walk to a part of the convention center for help..red orange for starving babies and the elderly so food can be dropped off with them first..purple (?) or something with yellow (?) stripes (the number denotes the trimester) for the pregnant women and have an area for them..yellow for people who are going to need help soon, but are still ok..and green for everyone else?

From what I've been seeing, they really need to find a way to organize the people to help those who really need it..

ALSO - if people are looting and getting arrested, their loot should go toward helping people..also, looting for food and water or clean clothes should be legal..and so should stealing cars to get out of the city (especially if they have a full car and/or sick people or children)..

Gawd, I'm dumb...

I decided to go home early on Tuesday because my arm hurt and it started to rain bad..I wanted to get home and get homework done..

So I'm driving home and I was thinking, geez it's bad out, but not as bad as I've had it before..everything looked like I was entering fog and saw mostly the shape of cars and their head and tail lights..it kept getting worse, but it was still better than one time when I was driving to school..

It didn't dawn on me until I was almost all the way home, that it wasn't the weather! It was my windows fogging up! When I was finally able to stop at a red light, I turned the defrost on and the fog went away in seconds..

Gawd, I feel so dumb!

Um..

yesterday I went to Capital University to volunteer to represent the Epilepsy Foundation at their booth at this neat volunteer/mentoring fair..Altho I spent most of the time going to different booths myself (parly because they guys with the latter blocked the doorway), I had a decent time..

I have decided to NEVER EVER attend Capital U..Half the people there are stupid people and the other half is cool:

Among the stupid people are:

-) Whoever designed the streets so that they dead end into a block of houses and start again on the other side..
-) Whoever made tuition so high (at least $15,000 a year)..
-) And at that high tuition, the guy who created the worse parking ever!
-) Whoever designed the ugly campus..
-) The bitch who almost rammed my car

The cool people:

-) Those students who appeared late for class or during class, stopped and helped me without a second thought
-) The nice teacher(?) man who stopped what he was doing and walked me over to where I needed to go and checked up on me later to make sure I found my way
-) The girl giving out raffle tickets that almost let me enter the raffle
-) The nice detoured traffic that let me unpark easily

I got lost when I got there..so did Samantha and she eventually found a parking space..I found a space eventually on the side of the street..

While lost, I was on Aston going West(?) because I knew that was toward Pleasant Ridge and Sam said it was between Aston and Main on Pleasant Ridge..most of the time, you would think a street would go straight through..but NOOOOOO..it dead ended and started up later!..This also happend on Mound Steet!

Well, at the dead end, it was a 3-way stop and there were no one way signs, so I turned right..halfway through my turn, I see a car heading toward me..the alley was too small for two cars, so I got off the phone with Sam and started to back up..what I didn't realize was that this girl was going 35 mph down an alley that was around 15-25 mph! The girl ran the stop sign and turned left in front of me..luckily, I was backing out at the right speed that she was able to barely miss my car by about a centimeter..If I backed up any slower, she would have rammed and scraped the front part of my car! And probably have driven off too!

Well, after eventually parking, a nice guy help me find the "Campus Center" which is often confused with "Capital Center" or something..in the area I was parked and went to the building with the fair, the campus was ugly! That's the only way to put it..

Yeah, it was raining, but our CSCC campus looks good in the rain, too! At Capital, it looks like old brick buildings and the grass isn't very well kept, and I didn't see much art work..the sidewalks sucked, too..

At CSCC, we have mostly green grass everywhere, flowers, mostly good sidewalks, artwork (like the statue, sails, topiaries, banners, the bridge, and vault)..the buildings themselves look like art!

OSU seems to be that way, too..OU-Chilicothe is nice, too..so maybe it's the state funded colleges that are beautiful..I guess it's because 1% of every new building has to go toward art..or is that just CSCC?

But the thing is, I don't think my tuition has ever been more than $6,000 in a year (if I took Summer) and I'm starting to get by with paying maybe only $2,000 a year (with Summer)? You would think the more expensive it is, the prettier it looks..

Capital also doesn't offer a whole lot like CSCC..but I guess it does offer more than two-years..

I still think I would transfer to OSU if I were to transfer..hopefully, since I would go into it as a junior (after getting an associate of arts), my classes would be small and I wouldn't have to be just a number..

Um..

I think I have ADD or something..

It was funny, I was on the way home and got bored, so I somehow got the notion to learn "Mary Had a Little Lamb" backwards..so while driving, I was concentrating also on singing some stupid nursery rhyme backwards perfectly by the time I got home..

I figured it out, tho!

Um..

The music video is going ok..I have 2 min. out of 3 1/2 done..I could finish it tonight (maybe) if I am able to get more sleep, but now I'm worried that no one will cover my shift, so my arm is still killing me, so I'm not getting sleep..