I stayed up until 5 a.m. playing Detroit: Become Human and ate a brownie right before bed. I have been working with TouchDesigner every day for the last few weeks to get to a point where I can put together my final project which involves augmented reality and projection. I had issues with sleep paralysis right before losing consciousness that involved feeling super cold and hypnic jerks.
My first “dream” involved that one whale in the gym AR demo, but I stripped it down to being just the whale’s spine, added dots along the spine, then controlled the movement with a noise CHOP.
That dream was about 5 minutes, but it seemed like an hour.
Then, I had a long, vivid dream where I was giving a family directions in Columbus. They wanted to take photos and I asked them if they wanted rural or city photos. They wanted rural ones. For some reason, I suggested they check out the Air Force museum out in Dayton and take photos of the rural areas along I-70. We were on a highway – I-270, I think, and I pointed toward the Columbus skyline saying that was east. I pointed in the opposite direction were I think I remember a hill or forests and said, “You’ll want to go west to get to Dayton.”
Note: Yesterday, there was a repeated joke that might have caused this dream: “Where is Engagement, Ohio?”
They followed me to some large area (it reminded me a little of a room my colleague and I presented in last December at the Kalahari Resort in Sandusky) in a building. I remember the lights being off and the sunlight coming in around the doors. There was something about a bookshelf and Warren* was there for some reason. The family knew him from some event he was at. The father joked about “Baby Warrens” embarrassing him. I thought, “If only he knew that I have this thing where if I ever had kids, I’d name the first son after their father.” (Note: we weren’t in a relationship in this dream, it was just a thought.)
Later, these gray fabric covered panels that were dividing the room started to move and an artist that lived in this space was angry at first that we “broke in.” He calmed down, though, and provided projectors to this family to try things. I was jealous in the dream because here are strangers getting free projectors while, *I* – a poor, soon to be unemployed, grad student has to borrow and/or scrape up cash for a projector for my final project. I remember my stress/anxiety coming out as it does sometimes as it does in waking life – I even used a term for it that I used in waking life. That was weird.
* Name was changed.
So on Wednesday, I went to COSI’s Dome Lab where my friend was showing off some of his awesome TouchDesigner and interactive art. Before he went up, another group showed TouchDesigner graphics on the dome while using the surround system to make the chairs vibrate. After days of watching and reading about hypnosis (because I’m looking into “hacking the brain” for good), I started to worry about being put in a suggestible state. There is a certain frequency and making your eyes move in a specific way while your body is in a certain position makes you more susceptible to suggestion.
That led me to want to try a project that WOULD actually do this. I would love to use the format to make people more confident and happy and connected to others and less anxious and stressed.
Too bad it made me have this dream and now I’m worried:
I dreamed I made my experiment and showed it off. People liked it enough to share it with others and have me try it elsewhere. They felt more motivated to accomplish their goals. They couldn’t understand where the drive came from, but they didn’t care. In the end, instead of having the confidence to work toward and complete their goals, they started to compulsively and obsessively work toward unobtainable goals to the point of dying or losing parts of their lives. Even I was starving to death trying to fix my project to make sure it didn’t happen to others because I inadvertently hypnotized myself during tests. I was on version 317 by the time I woke up and under 100 pounds.
The dreams I remember were all about trying to stop or catch bad guys.
I remember being with Warren* (I think) chatting in a city on a pedestrian bridge. He was dressed up for some reason and I joked saying he looked as if he were running for office. I looked back to my left to a building with at least two wings and a place where people dropped off people. On about the third or fourth floor, some guy with an “assault” rifle broke out a window. I thought, “Ugh. Asshole. Breaking windows and shit.”
I tried to count the floors and get a location to report to the police. I asked Warren what the name of the place was and he says it was “Civic Center” or something like that. I know of a “Civic Center” on a riverfront and it didn’t look like this building.
The gunman shot at us and a bullet hit the concrete railing we were leaning against – right in between us. He went back inside the building. I remember trying to look over the ledge and to my right to get a better idea of where I was located, but I woke up.
I remember running through a basement hallway. It was a classic old basement of a building with gray glazed floor and walls with dusty fluorescent bar-shaped lights.
I had to push a janitorial cart out of the way that led into another hallway with a storage closet. No one was there and I was relieved. However, I thought, “I must have gotten here earlier this time,” as if I had played this experience before. Warren was in this one, too.
Eventually, a semi-chubby guy came rushing down the hallway, dressed as a delivery guy, holding a taped Amazon box. He headed straight for the supply closet. I stopped him, telling him he’s going to hurt people with the bomb. I asked him why he agreed to it and he said those that made him help pay for his wife’s life-saving medications.
Sometime during this dream, I started to freak out. I remember being close to Warren as if we had worked together for a long time, but when I tried to remember scenes/memories of after catching bad guys, I couldn’t. I expected to be able to remember the “boring” aspects of this hero “game” or life or whatever, thinking that’s where our relationship grew. Since I couldn’t remember, I started to worry they were blocking my memory of those events for some reason and I HATE losing memories and blacking out in dreams.
* Name has been changed.
I remember boarding a plane and was on my way to LA for some reason. We could see what the pilot sees on a screen near the cockpit – I thought that was pretty neat. I had a ticket or something with May 11(?) of 2017 (?). I remember scratching out the year, saying it was wrong.
It was night, but what I remember the most was that the buildings we were supposed to fly over were black with orange wirefames (in real life, that would be a fun thing to project on buildings). It actually felt like a plane taking off in the dream. The plane wasn’t high enough, so they tried to avoid the buildings my tilting right, but we were too low and crashed on the right side – the side I was on.
I remember closing my eyes and covering my face to avoid debris. When I opened them, everything was in slow motion and the plane was coming apart into pieces. I couldn’t move (it was probably sleep paralysis kicking in) and I thought it was from maybe the shock or getting hit in the head and that it would wear off soon and I could start making my way out. I didn’t have fear – just like other dreams or things that have happened where I had to take action to save myself and others – I was too focused to feel any emotion. I focused on trying to grab the armrest that appeared to be stable to pull myself up. I counted the seats to the exit (the lights on the rows of seats were white and the exit was red) so I could get out even if the cabin filled with smoke. I thought I could grab at least one person’s arm to lead them out, hoping they’d grab another and start a chain.
I ended up waking up into another dream with characters I don’t know in waking life, but I kept having deja vu moments as I told them about the dream. I kept saying how it was weird I was going to LA since I have no real interest in going there. I mean, I’m in media so most of my classmates and some friends over the years have gone out there, but I’m a Midwest/East Coast person.
I remember being at Polaris mall in Columbus near Christmas. They decked the place out and had Christmas songs playing. I remember walking through an area that was set up like a church with pews and I sang along with the music despite probably bothering people.
I thought, “Wait, wasn’t it just December? How did it get so late in the year?” Then, I remembered a prediction that was made that was supposed to happen by December and I wondered if I should be trying to make it happen or will it happen no matter what and then there’s a part of me that wants to fight it, despite it being something I really want to happen. In waking life, it’s too early to tell, but the prediction is still a possibility and sadly, probably will come down to my actions or neglect.
I somehow ended up in someone’s nice home and remembered I stayed the night – probably some Air BnB thing. I was about to leave and walked toward the door, taking in their Christmas decorating thinking how I don’t have enough energy or time to decorate, but I think it’s great that they did. I then realized I stayed the night, but didn’t explore the house. I thought I’d do a quick walk through when the next tenants came in – a family of four, lead by a nice lady with short reddish blond hair. I surprised her as much as she surprised me and I told her I was just leaving.
This turned into me being in the bathroom of my apartment and hearing someone come up the front steps to my door and knock loudly. Note: in waking life, I don’t have a set of steps like that. I opened the door and went back to the bathroom while this sweaty, maybe drunk, angry lady with her hair tied back and a dirty shirt paced around. I tried to calm her down and de-escalate the situation and she grabbed my shirt and I thought she’d punch me in the face. She stopped when she realized I wasn’t reflecting her mood.
Then, I woke up.
There were other dreams and they were related to the prediction, but they weren’t vivid enough to post.
I had a few dreams where I was hanging out with Warren*. Nothing stands out, though.
I remember working on stuff we are doing at work – turning CT scan turned 3D models into something interactive.
I remember being at an outdoor wedding or event that took place on a pretty grass hill. We were all sitting at picnic tables. Warren* and Tammi* were nicely dressed and I hoped they’d sit at my table, but they sat at a table near the front before they saw me.
I remember eating cake or something with a reddish-purple fruit jelly inside. I kept asking what kind of fruit it was because I am allergic to raspberries and blueberries.
Note: This was also a reference to a dream I might add to this journal where I stopped eating a piece of raspberry cake and offered it to Warren* and Tammi* and Warren* excitedly jumped up and grabbed it. I pointed out where I ate it so he could eat from the other side, but he grabbed the fork and used it and ate the whole thing. I woke up wishing I had that in waking life – someone to enjoy and eat the food I’d normally have to throw out, but also be there when they can’t have certain food and I can.
So after not getting an answer, I shrugged and kept eating because it was tasty and I hate wasting food.
Later, the bridesmaids came out with large robin’s egg blue boxes with bows. There wasn’t enough for all the tables, so our table had to move to nearer the drop-off. I said I’d have to have my back to the drop off because it was so beautiful, I wouldn’t be able to focus. I described what I saw – the hill went down to a small pond and I said there was a fox or wolf or something down there. The wolf ran up the hill and to me and it was this REALLY LARGE wolf-like creature and it was so sweet! I got to pet it and hug it.
I remember driving and getting lost. I looked at an overhead view of the area and a map. One street I needed was Route 278 or Route 782 and it branched off from a large roundabout and I thought it was Athens, but it had a Leveque Tower-like skyscraper. Later, I ended up under an overpass area (looked a little like that one outdoor area of Glidden Hall) and some guy sang me a song. He was really nice.
* Names were changed.