Stupid Depression and a fun dream
Originally posted on MySpace:
So I’m depressed..
I’m the most depressed I’ve been in five years..
Not only am I depressed from the depression I get once a month, but I’ve got extra depression on top of that from feeling like I’m not in control of my life (same reason I was depressed five years ago)..
add those things and add the bad feelings about myself I have after acting out my depression in bad ways and it sucks..
Bad thing is that this is the first day of what could last 3-10 days, continuing to get worse daily..
Some good news:
- found a neat apartment possibility for September!
- I’ve been having deja vu moments (1-3 per day)
- I’ve been eating a little healthier and excersizing a little more and I lost about 2-3 pounds!
- I’m thinking about volunteering at the Free Store to help translate Spanish
- I’m hopefully close to receiving a phone call ;o)
- And I’m ready clothes, knowledge, etc. wise if I do!
- If things work out, I’ll go back to being “comfortable” and won’t complain so much!
- Free trip in February
- I saved just about $200 this month!
- If I keep that up, I should have about $1000 saved by September! (taking about $400 out for car repairs, but not including the $1000 I expect to receive from taxes)! (of course a miracle could happen and I could have an extra $10,000 by then and no debt)
Fun Dream
It was a sci-fi/fantasy dream..
The races/species were going to have a competition and I wanted to join the Human team. There was a guy (”Tim”) and a girl (”Rachel” or “Claire”) and of course, I liked the guy. The two joked around a lot and they jumped in a magic portal after daring each other to join the Human team.
I was SO jealous! So when they came back, I told them I would join, too and they told me not to because I could be killed. But I jumped in the magic portal anyway.
I guess it was bad timing because I landed in a football field where many rhino-headed giants were playing a game. After they saw me, they went after me and I did awesome flips and karate moves (all in an old middle-ages dress).
Basically, I kicked their asses!
After many of them were down, the main rhino-headed guy picked me up. His hand extended from my chest down to my feet. He explained to me that they were practicing and that every race/species had a set time to practice in this field.
He carried me across the field to behind the bleachers where “Tim” stood waiting. The rhino-headed guy said, “Is this yours?” while holding me out. “Tim” said yes and I was put down on the grass beside him.
“Next time, keep a better watch of your property!” said the rhino guy and “Tim” agreed.
We walked back to the portal and I guess I was signed up.
Somehow, “Tim” knew that mermaids knew how to defeat the rhino-giants. I thought it was illogical because mermaids are water-based and rhinos are land-based.
But later, we were a couple I guess and we took a boat out to the magic lake/river. It was so cheesy! I was in the water looking at him in the boat. I was afraid the mermaids were going to turn me into a mermaid, which would cause me to forget who I was and forget about “Tim”. “Tim” told me he would find a way to bring me back to human form if that ever happened.
We kissed and I dove in the water and swam into the river.
Then I woke up.